Can't we all just get along?

I am a bureaucrat that can actually say I worked as both a federal employee and a service industry worker. I may not have been actually refilling empty draft beer glasses, but my government job required me to interact with the public every day. Every. Single. Day.

I am no longer in a direct public service position but I will admit that I miss my interactions and my ability to serve the people who lived in my community.  Even if some of those same people fantasize about dressing up like they're in a call of duty game and spending two months on a federal property they've taken over to protest my overreach. The anti-government types tend to forget that when they're talking about "the government" they're usually referring to normal people like you and me.

I understand some people get frustrated by paying taxes, but I don't understand how demonizing every government employee helps your cause. In my last post I mentioned I came down with food poisoning. In the days that followed, I lost about five pounds. It worked, but it probably wasn't the best or most pleasant way of losing five pounds. So chill out militia folks, and find a better way to pay less in taxes without accusing your neighbor of trying to steal your land. Sure, it gets your point across, but it isn't the most pleasant way of doing so for anyone involved.

I think I've worked with him before

So I said I wouldn't use this blog to perpetuate stereotypes of government employees...some stereotypes are just too good not to perpetuate:

I'm also impressed by Flash's tie.  He clearly is an old-school government employee!

A perfect 3.0 GPA!

The public sector and private sector do not always have a lot in common. But one of the things us bureaucrats share with our private sector brethren are horrible performance appraisals.  Not an actual bad review, a bad review system.  A system that is so bad it makes you feel like this.

At some point in our careers we have all been subject to an arbitrary numerical grading system for our employment appraisals.  One agency I worked at had a 0-9 scale but only graded on odd numbers. I'm assuming some consultant told an HR executive that odd numbers were more gentle.

For example, you could get two 9's and two 7's so your appraisal would be an 8.0. But you couldn't get an 8 in a category.  But you also couldn't get a 9 because your boss never got one and he says nobody is perfect. So he won't give you a 9 even though your coworkers on a different team got a 9.0 overall rating because their boss isn't a vindictive gatekeeper. You also can't get a 1 because that means you're basically being fired. And you can't get a 3 because that means you need a performance plan and no manager wants to go through with that. So everybody is a 6.0. Sure you might have an all-star that gets a 6.5 or a real brown-noser who can get a whopping 7.0, but for the most part, we're all solid sixes...on a 1-9 scale...that doesn't actually use even numbers.

So you're the victim of an appraisal system that goes from 1-9 de jure but in fact is more like 5-7. And managers convince themselves that this makes sense. They won't push back against their anti 9.0 manager so they issue appraisals to their employees and remind them that a 6.0 is actually really good.

I had a manager tell me I couldn't rate an employee as a 9.0 because the employee didn't walk on water. I reminded my boss that I didn't see anything in the position description that suggested divinity was a requirement. The manager went on and on about how her boss would never believe somebody could be a solid 9.0! If Shaq becomes commissioner of the NBA and eliminates free-throws because he couldn't make them, it would make more sense than a numerical rating that doesn't allow ratings at the top or bottom end.

So for managers at all levels of an organization, remember that you have excellent employees and let them know that in an appraisal.  And fight back against your boss that tells you that you're not allowed to.  Then, at the end of the appraisal period when you receive your 6.0 rating from your supervisor, smile while you mutter something under your breath about how you know that you are at least a 6.5.

The Tax Collectors and the Prostitutes

Demagoguery directed at bureaucrats is not new.  From Rush Limbough to the Bible, government workers are not always held in high esteem.  The purpose of my blog is not to advance the narrative that government employees are bad, lazy, overpaid leeches.  However, I will give you real life examples of poor leadership.  There are all kinds of books, speakers, and yes, blogs, that will tell you how to manage.  I will specifically give you examples of how NOT to manage.

I hope to provide an interesting and humorous perspective into life on the inside of government management.  Follow along for stories about Christmas community fund raisers gone awry, the definition of retired-on-duty, and many more!